Gameday Poop: Pens vs deadBOLTS – Pittsburgh Penguins – PenguinPoop Blog

Gameday Poop: Pens vs deadBOLTS

Here we have yet another team in our move to play teams that are not a city. Tampa Bay is another one of those marketing ploys to expand the area of supporters. Tampa is basically a city of one strip mall after the other. Tampa Bay is a secluded harbor in fact I’m not so sure if there is…


a real Tampa Bay. It might be a generalization of the combination of a host of bays in that area. So, finely put we are playing the Tampa Bay Harbor deadbolts tonight.

Speaking of marketing, the deadBOLT’s owner, Hollywood producer – Oren Koules predicted that this years team would win the Southeast Division just canned there best marketing whiz, Mark Gullet who came up with the “Seen Stamkos” – stamkos-billboard billboards around the Tampa strip malls before  they            picked him in last June’s Entry Draft. 


Now, what’s  funny here is that Koules then hires GM  Brian Lawton’s wife, Angelina Lawton to be the new head of Communications.  It’s doesn’t get much more in-the-family than that does it!

Koules, Len Barrie and Lawton got there heads together and selected Barry Melrose. LOL. Those TV analyst’s… we’ve been down that road before!

So here we have a team that paid Bugzy Malone an outrageous contract and Malone accepts it because they also gave his dad, Greg Malone, the head scouting position. Facts are, Bugzy does go to the net, gets his nose dirty and he was a tough one to see leaving the Penguins and Pittsburgh.  But we would be hammering his current production which by the way… is almost a duplicate of Peter Sykora’s… but at three times the cost! All of a sudden Sykora’s contract doesn’t look as bad as Malone’s… does it now.

• We only lost twice in regulation in the last 18 games so there is no need to panic. Plus, Montreal looks like they might want to go golfing rather than visit the playoffs. They sat Cary Price… Hmmm?
• When is Krundle coming back? This GAME POOP STUFF is way too demanding.
• The Tampa Bay Habour has dropped 6-straight and tonight it will be 7.
• With Lecavalier getting wrist surgery that will make him easier to trade during the summer. He’s going to be a HAB – trust me on that.
• The 21 different deadBOLT defenseman, one of them being Josef Melichar, is a league record.  Josef  ‘freaking’ Melichar!

In GOAL -- Needs the Money

In GOAL -- Needs the Money

• The Reader’s Digest version is… going in net tonight for the deadBOLTS is Ed McMahon who was once Johnny Carson’s sidekick.

• At one time I thought that RW, Evgeny TANK Artukhin would have been a good signing for the Pens but (and I can’t rememeber where I read this) he’s so lazy that he wouldn’t know how to spell WORK if you spotted him the W and the O. Yet, watch for his cheap hits. That’s why dressing Godard tonight might be a good thing.


I don’t usually make predictions but I’m going with the Pens… 6 – 0. I think Malkin and Crosby put some pressure on the scoring race by getting 3 points each.

Ovechkin now has 500 shots on goal and the closest to him is Eric Staal with 360. That puck hog should be leading in scoring… but isn’t… is he. 

Let’s go Pens!  Let’s get this over with, tonight eh.

This is DR Hook… carry on

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  1. RBuckle's Gravatar RBuckle
    April 7, 2009 at 6:44 pm | Permalink

    “Tama Bay??” Dr Hook, you need some spell check… Krundle ever mis-spells anything. What is the record for shots on goal for a year? 500 has to be close.

  2. Kutdacheez's Gravatar Kutdacheez
    April 7, 2009 at 5:14 pm | Permalink

    One more thing . . . after second thought I want Malkin and Crosby both to beat out Ovechnik. Put them both on the same line and let’s see a big NINE goals on the scoreboard. No fanning the sticks like Ovechnik however!

  3. Kutdacheez's Gravatar Kutdacheez
    April 7, 2009 at 3:54 pm | Permalink

    Watch for gun-fight with Atlanta and the WASH DC Craps tonight as both go with rookie goalies. Ovechnik may have 25 shots on goal.

    April 7, 2009 at 3:33 pm | Permalink

    I often felt that there would be no other player come into the NHL with more pressure than Crosby had on him. Howebver, can you imagine what this kid was thinking when his own coach wouldn’t play him and via the media said he didn’t belong in the big leagues. What that goes to show anyone is that Barry Melrose is a fool. How ESPN hired him back as an analyst after he showed what a chump he is is beyond me. You have to hand it to the kid to climb over that major hurdle. Except for tonight (and any other Pens involved game) I hope the kid buries that greasy haired fossil.
    Let’s go Pens.

  5. Boombastic's Gravatar Boombastic
    April 7, 2009 at 11:20 am | Permalink

    Putting him in goal must be part of Oren Koules version of Ed McMahon’s “Star Search” Boom-Boom-Boom

  6. Boombastic's Gravatar Boombastic
    April 7, 2009 at 11:12 am | Permalink

    Just so we come out of tonight’s game without anyone getting hurt. I think your right about Montreal. What’s with Gainey not starting Price last night. And the Rangers have pretty much sliding down the POOPshoot too.


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